Tag Archives: heartache

“On the Shores of Madness”

Peeking at the world through closed fingers

I glimpsed the horrors that hide in plain sight

Finding doubt where hope still lingers

Tracking scars from an ongoing plight

Madness approaches on the tips of its toes

Creeping around on all fours

It sews its seeds where fear still grows

Leaving refuse scattered along its shores

Madness closes in like a sleuth in the night

It slips down dark corridors

Straining hope like a sieve and replacing it with fright

Like mischievous foes in shadowy corners

Something lurks in forbidden places

Secret figures that creep in our dreams

They’re all that remain of familiar faces

Forever trapped in eternal screams

— David Allen

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“A Stranger Unto Me”

I thought she was an angel

But I had the wrong address

As above, so below

And I’m sure you know the rest

I had planned never to speak of her again

So many words have I wasted on her

So many emotions, too

“Never again,” I told myself

And yet, here I am, once again

Stuck in this endless dance with you

If the mind is an uncharted labyrinth

Then surely the heart is a library of mysteries

A conundrum within a paradox

Like a soul without a body

Lost amongst the reeds of despair

Adrift in a sea of imagination

What secrets await us at the end of our journey?

What keys will the universe reveal?

There must be a vault where I store all my thoughts

But I’ve somehow forgotten to lock it

I left myself open for all to see

And the code is now lost to me

She too will someday be foreign, you see

Speaking in a language I care not to learn

She’s like an incomplete thought to me now

A sentence unreadable

Scrambled and unintelligible

A contradiction of herself

And with a tiny nod, I was poured another drink

Then the barkeep in the trashy coat and uneven tan said,

“This is how it all began.”

And with a shifty wink and a feigned smile, I replied,

“And this is how it all shall end,” I lied

Our chapter may be at an end

But fiction can always have a sequel

And then…

We were strangers once again

— David Allen

“It All Follows Suit”

Memories are tainted now
Most of them are changed somehow
Memories of you gone by
Of how and what and where and why
And it all flows to me
And it all but follows suit
My mind is misguided now
Of things that I had once contrived
Things that I had once subscribed
Are no longer to be found
And it all encumbers me
And it all but follows suit
Things are lost and things are found
Some of them are in the ground
Memories of you, my love
They are no longer sound
And it all enters me
And it all but follows suit
Buried deep beneath the waves
In hidden places and in caves
Secret places where I’ve wept
Is where my love for you is kept
And it all encompasses me
And it all but follows suit
Now that you have guided me
In lessons that I needed to see
Are you teaching comfortably
Now that you are over me?
And it’s all emended me
And it all but follows suit
And it’s all corrected me
As it all follows suit

Thanks for the lessons.
Inspired by Leonard Cohen’s “Teachers”

— David Allen

“Oceans of Resentment”

When the pillars of Rome are piled in ruin

And our past smolders and burns in the rubble

Are you accustomed to living a lie?

As the western shores are all ablaze?

Your bridges are a conflagration

And your spirit will stir in darkness

And you came to me in black and white

In dreams of ghastly heresy

A wanton woman in her fiery rage

Damaged by the lovers of her past

You were the smokey air I breathed

Whom I cherished more than life itself

I wished for nothing more than your contentment

Even though I’m not needed to fulfill it

You were the water in the reeds

The sea-foam on the banks of incontinence

Washing away the seeds of resentment

To still this broken, unremarkable hand

And on this path I wander,

I carry no baggage in life

Only in mine own heart

And that is heavy enough

And as my love washed upon your shores of indifference

You were nearly swept away

But I didn’t mean for you to drown

Though I thought your waters were far too shallow

And the undertow had plunged you deeper still

But I’ll stem my tide

If you’ll staunch your flow of hate

And if you’ll dam your embankment of anger

And let it be damned, your pathology

You’re like a dream to me now

Half-remembered and incomplete

And isn’t that how all good dreams end?

The edges all obscured?

The details a fog?

Twisted and stirred into the darkness

Blackened and frayed at the seams

And people say we dream in black and white

But I remember you so vividly

Another sea to drink

Another flood of emotions

Washed upon the shores of deliverance

I’ve never felt a deeper chill,

Than the coldness in your heart

No other waters ever ran so cold

And now they wash over me

Like a memory of shimmering tides

I don’t mind being a memory to you

Even if just a ripple in your timeline

But I wish it were a good one

And that you were not left so parched

— David

Quick Update

On this day, which would’ve been our three year anniversary, I’ve added a new addition to my other blog. And although I won’t be sharing any posts from the other blog here, I just wanted to let everyone know that there’s a new entry available. This one will shed some light on how toxic of a relationship I was in, and it will finally offer some insight into how and why it ended. And again, please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you!

Here’s the link again:

volkuros.blogspot.comOpen letters to the greatest love I’ve ever known

— David

Dear WordPress Readers

I’ve been considering for a long time whether or not I should share certain experiences from the last three years here on this blog. I know many of you have read my poetry here, and you’ve probably gathered that I went through a bad breakup with someone that I was very much in love with. And although it’s always been a temptation for me to share those feelings here, I’ve decided against it. This blog is something I created with the intention of sharing my poetry, my thoughts and my stories. And even though my poetry has more than alluded to certain issues that I’ve been facing, those poems are still just an extension of my feelings, and they’re just an artistic means of expressing them. And that’s what this blog has always been about. And that’s what it shall remain.

That being said, I actually did want to write about what I’ve been going through, so I’ve decided to start a new blog elsewhere. I only have two entrees so far, but I plan to post more soon. It’s about time that I finally begin to heal from this pain, and there’s no better way for a writer to do so than to write about it. So, I’m sharing the link to that blog with everyone here, because you’ve all been so supportive and understanding in the past. Whether or not you decide to read it is entirely up to you. I’m not asking that you do, and I certainly have no expectations. But if you do decide to read it, please feel free to comment and express your own feelings about what I wrote and whether or not it speaks to you directly. You’re more than welcome to do so, even if your views and opinions are not helpful or constructive. (Mostly, that last comment was intended for my ex and her own support group of internet bullies. I have a feeling I’ll be hearing from them as well. And that’s fine with me. I’d like everyone to see for themselves just what kind of animals they are.) As for the rest of my readers, I anticipate a more human response.

Thank you all for the support and kindness that you’ve offered thus far. It has always been appreciated and well received!

Sincerely,

David Allen

Here’s the link: volkuros.blogspot.com Open letters to the greatest love I’ve ever known (A statement that no longer applies)

I hope to hear from you soon!