“La Petite Mort”

Not a trace of you did I keep

Not a scrap to throw to the wind

Not a photograph, nor a letter

The flood has taken everything

Stains are all that’s left now

Just dirt-rings and dry-rot

The mess you’ve left behind

Fading over time

Your friends, they came and went

…mostly, they went

Weary of your echo-chamber acoustics

Your endless drone of self-indulgence and pride

Mixed with a pinch of self-loathing and depreciation 

But never a single regret

No, not you

Even your shortcomings are planned and calculated

You’ve become so accustomed to failure, you can no longer count your own losses

And now my love for you is torn

And the heart around it no less worn

Did I need to split a vein to prove that I too bleed red?

If red be your color, I would’ve endlessly bled for you

Will I ever be a whole man after all I’ve spilt?

Can you even feel a shred of guilt?

You laughed as I wriggled in pain

You snickered while you drove me insane

And now I hear you’ve moved on

You have another fly in your web

Another victim

Another stain on your bed

Another drop of blood to shed

Another death be it on your head

โ€”David Allen 

22 thoughts on ““La Petite Mort”

    1. volkuros Post author

      Thanks very much, John. As a fellow fan of Leonard, I’m very flattered by that compliment.
      I just read a brand new poem of his that he wrote on June 24th. It’s called “Happens to the Heart.” It’s fantastic. If you don’t have any luck finding it, let me know. I’ll get the link.
      And thanks for the likes on my other works as well.

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  1. insidioustemptation

    She sounds dreadful. Ugh. Wonderfully written poem. Moving and sad. I’m not sure I am feeling like having a ‘la petit mort’ after reading it though. But…that’s okay because I’ve already had several today ๐Ÿ˜‰ hehehe

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    1. volkuros Post author

      Dreadful doesn’t even scratch the surface. I now have PTSD because of her, and I’ve tried to end my life six times in the past year. The stories about her would make your head spin like Linda Blair (and probably puke as well.) But she claims that she cared, so I guess it’s all good!

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      1. volkuros Post author

        Not at all. I was hospitalized with an overdose only two weeks ago. And that was my sixth attempt since August of last year. She really did mean that much to me, but she never understood that. I am doing much better now, though.

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      2. insidioustemptation

        I am glad you are doing better. Your writing is so sad, but beautiful. Purge it all and then move on…perhaps to writing about cats. Or maybe dogs. Maybe photography. Please email me through my website contact form if you ever feel like venting. Or sharing. Please. We are strangers, but…we both love TOOL….so there’s that!! Good Christ! The world cannot go on without you and your writing. So happy you are doing better.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. volkuros Post author

        You have no idea how good that made me feel just now. I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much. And we don’t have to be strangers. Please feel free to keep in touch. I’ll look for your email and send you a message soon.

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