“Oceans of Resentment”

When the pillars of Rome are piled in ruin

And our past smolders and burns in the rubble

Are you accustomed to living a lie?

As the western shores are all ablaze?

Your bridges are a conflagration

And your spirit will stir in darkness

And you came to me in black and white

In dreams of ghastly heresy

A wanton woman in her fiery rage

Damaged by the lovers of her past

You were the smokey air I breathed

Whom I cherished more than life itself

I wished for nothing more than your contentment

Even though I’m not needed to fulfill it

You were the water in the reeds

The sea-foam on the banks of incontinence

Washing away the seeds of resentment

To still this broken, unremarkable hand

And on this path I wander,

I carry no baggage in life

Only in mine own heart

And that is heavy enough

And as my love washed upon your shores of indifference

You were nearly swept away

But I didn’t mean for you to drown

Though I thought your waters were far too shallow

And the undertow had plunged you deeper still

But I’ll stem my tide

If you’ll staunch your flow of hate

And if you’ll dam your embankment of anger

And let it be damned, your pathology

You’re like a dream to me now

Half-remembered and incomplete

And isn’t that how all good dreams end?

The edges all obscured?

The details a fog?

Twisted and stirred into the darkness

Blackened and frayed at the seams

And people say we dream in black and white

But I remember you so vividly

Another sea to drink

Another flood of emotions

Washed upon the shores of deliverance

I’ve never felt a deeper chill,

Than the coldness in your heart

No other waters ever ran so cold

And now they wash over me

Like a memory of shimmering tides

I don’t mind being a memory to you

Even if just a ripple in your timeline

But I wish it were a good one

And that you were not left so parched

— David

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Quick Update

On this day, which would’ve been our three year anniversary, I’ve added a new addition to my other blog. And although I won’t be sharing any posts from the other blog here, I just wanted to let everyone know that there’s a new entry available. This one will shed some light on how toxic of a relationship I was in, and it will finally offer some insight into how and why it ended. And again, please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you!

Here’s the link again:

volkuros.blogspot.comOpen letters to the greatest love I’ve ever known

— David

Dear WordPress Readers

I’ve been considering for a long time whether or not I should share certain experiences from the last three years here on this blog. I know many of you have read my poetry here, and you’ve probably gathered that I went through a bad breakup with someone that I was very much in love with. And although it’s always been a temptation for me to share those feelings here, I’ve decided against it. This blog is something I created with the intention of sharing my poetry, my thoughts and my stories. And even though my poetry has more than alluded to certain issues that I’ve been facing, those poems are still just an extension of my feelings, and they’re just an artistic means of expressing them. And that’s what this blog has always been about. And that’s what it shall remain.

That being said, I actually did want to write about what I’ve been going through, so I’ve decided to start a new blog elsewhere. I only have two entrees so far, but I plan to post more soon. It’s about time that I finally begin to heal from this pain, and there’s no better way for a writer to do so than to write about it. So, I’m sharing the link to that blog with everyone here, because you’ve all been so supportive and understanding in the past. Whether or not you decide to read it is entirely up to you. I’m not asking that you do, and I certainly have no expectations. But if you do decide to read it, please feel free to comment and express your own feelings about what I wrote and whether or not it speaks to you directly. You’re more than welcome to do so, even if your views and opinions are not helpful or constructive. (Mostly, that last comment was intended for my ex and her own support group of internet bullies. I have a feeling I’ll be hearing from them as well. And that’s fine with me. I’d like everyone to see for themselves just what kind of animals they are.) As for the rest of my readers, I anticipate a more human response.

Thank you all for the support and kindness that you’ve offered thus far. It has always been appreciated and well received!

Sincerely,

David Allen

Here’s the link: volkuros.blogspot.com Open letters to the greatest love I’ve ever known (A statement that no longer applies)

I hope to hear from you soon!

“However did it come to this?”

You’re beautifully wounded

Damaged beyond repair

You’ve got lines around your eyes

And silver in your hair

The taste of you was unappealing

Despite the smell of strawberries

A promise unfruitful

And a lie so deceiving

Whatever happened to the person I met,

The one that you pretended to be?

Where did she go, and why did she leave?

And how did she slip away from me?

You looked like honey and swayed like lilies

But your politics was suffocating

However did it come to this?

To go from “I love you” to such a deadly kiss?

Yours was a succulent persuasion

With poison on your lips

A delectable delight

Taken in small sips

With lipstick the color of a funeral

And an air of rot on your sex

So how did you become so beautifully damaged?

And however did it come to this?

How could we end on such a bitter note,

When a life with you had boasted bliss?

And how can you hate me so,

When I gave my heart so readily?

I offered it all to you

And for my efforts I was burned

Scarred and deeply inflicted

From a love that came at great cost

But our time together is not bereft

And my time with you was not a loss

For a valuable lesson I have learned

And a painful memory is all that’s left

Of the one for whom I’ve yearned

And all that there is left,

And all that I’ve obtained from this,

Is heartache and despair

So, however did it come to this?

How can it be that a love so deep,

Can become a deep, black ocean of hate?

Do you even have one fond memory of me?

How different our memories of each other are

It’s now unpleasant to remember you at all

So every time you say, “no one loves me,”

Just remember that I did

Each time you claim that no one cares,

Know that I do, and always will

You can choose not to believe in such things,

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true

You can pretend that what we had was nothing,

But it was everything to me

A pointless, meaningless feud…

That’s all that’s left of us now

But was I ever more to you than that?

Did you ever love me at all?

You’ve destroyed every good moment that we spent

And maybe that was the point

Maybe that’s the help you needed

To close the door on us

As for me, I just needed closure

I needed to understand why you wanted to destroy us

…All that we had

Or could’ve been

…together

I just needed to know why

I needed to see why you gutted me so

And why you left things so irreparable

And how you can be so pleased with this

When the time that we had was once something that you missed

I just need to understand

How it could ever have come to this

— David Allen