Haiku 5

Drinking my chai tea

I contemplate Confucius

Yes, I am confused

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“However did it come to this?”

You’re beautifully wounded

Damaged beyond repair

You’ve got lines around your eyes

And silver in your hair

The taste of you was unappealing

Despite the smell of strawberries

A promise unfruitful

And a lie so deceiving

Whatever happened to the person I met,

The one that you pretended to be?

Where did she go, and why did she leave?

And how did she slip away from me?

You looked like honey and swayed like lilies

But your politics was suffocating

However did it come to this?

To go from “I love you” to such a deadly kiss?

Yours was a succulent persuasion

With poison on your lips

A delectable delight

Taken in small sips

With lipstick the color of a funeral

And an air of rot on your sex

So how did you become so beautifully damaged?

And however did it come to this?

How could we end on such a bitter note,

When a life with you had boasted bliss?

And how can you hate me so,

When I gave my heart so readily?

I offered it all to you

And for my efforts I was burned

Scarred and deeply inflicted

From a love that came at great cost

But our time together is not bereft

And my time with you was not a loss

For a valuable lesson I have learned

And a painful memory is all that’s left

Of the one for whom I’ve yearned

And all that there is left,

And all that I’ve obtained from this,

Is heartache and despair

So, however did it come to this?

How can it be that a love so deep,

Can become a deep, black ocean of hate?

Do you even have one fond memory of me?

How different our memories of each other are

It’s now unpleasant to remember you at all

So every time you say, “no one loves me,”

Just remember that I did

Each time you claim that no one cares,

Know that I do, and always will

You can choose not to believe in such things,

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true

You can pretend that what we had was nothing,

But it was everything to me

A pointless, meaningless feud…

That’s all that’s left of us now

But was I ever more to you than that?

Did you ever love me at all?

You’ve destroyed every good moment that we spent

And maybe that was the point

Maybe that’s the help you needed

To close the door on us

As for me, I just needed closure

I needed to understand why you wanted to destroy us

…All that we had

Or could’ve been

…together

I just needed to know why

I needed to see why you gutted me so

And why you left things so irreparable

And how you can be so pleased with this

When the time that we had was once something that you missed

I just need to understand

How it could ever have come to this

— David Allen

“Show-Stopper”

Nothing can convince me that your love was real

I know better than that now

What a fool I was to be taken in by your deception

But your act was flawless at the time

And I wanted so badly for it to be true

I had a playbill in my hand when we first met

And your name was flooded in lights

I remember you were center stage

And your stage-name was Bunni,

“The Performer Extraordinaire”

I attended all of your shows

And I clapped at every performance

But there came a time when I couldn’t afford to see you anymore

The facade of a human mask you wore had slipped

And the cost of loving you had become too steep

But I remember who you once pretended to be

You even looked like a real person

…but only on the outside

Complete with a conscience, a soul, and a moral sense of responsibility,

All of which would gleam in your eye,

As you’d sit there and lie

And you even had a sense of humor, too

You could laugh at the most delicate hearts breaking

But that’s because you’re an actor, see

And the hearts of men were the stage on which you stood

It was a platform that you danced upon

And you twirled and twirled beneath a hand-painted sky

But now you stand upon the hardened backs of those whom you’ve manipulated

And you gaze into the abyss of empty dreams that lay broken at your feet

You cackle at those who once loved you

And you grind your heel on the lives that you’ve touched

But whose blood will you wash your hands in next,

When the final curtain falls?

And who will make the final cut,

And what will be your roll?

As for me, I’ve learned to read between the lines

And I see the performance for what it is

It was a work of fiction

And you were just an entertainer,

Not to be taken seriously

Your love was nothing more than a stage-prop

And I can see past that illusion now,

Clearer than I ever have before

Every moment we spent together was an act

And what a performance it was

You actually had me in tears

And to think, I applauded you

I even bought into your act

I gave out tickets to that show

But it was nothing more than popcorn entertainment

And I was just a member of the audience

So, which character are you today?

Are you Bunny, or Bunni?

Or are you Kay?

Are you Noel, Miss Lapin, or Mademoiselle?

What kind of game is this that you play?

And what is the point of the story you tell?

I could never decide if you were a comedy or a tragedy

You wore both faces so well

But to Hell with your version of reality,

If this is the fiction you sell

— David Allen